Ask Kate: I had a baby and then lost all my friends
I’m 28 and had my first child 12 a year ago. I’m the first out of my friends’ group to have a baby and I feel like all my friends have ditched me now that I can’t keep up with all the social events and I’m now just a ‘boring mum’. So I guess I need advice on two things. 1. How do I make new mum friends? 2. How do I reconnect with my old friends?
Dear Baby Blues,
I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling lonely after having your baby. It’s common for friendships to change after major life events. It may be comforting to know that a lot of new mums are in the same boat as you and here are some ways you can find these new mums.
Making new mum friends
Making new mom friends can be a wonderful way to navigate the joys and challenges of motherhood while building a supportive community. Here are some suggestions to help you connect with other moms:
- Attend Mom Groups: Look for local mom groups or parenting classes in your area. These gatherings provide an excellent opportunity to meet other moms who are going through similar experiences. You can connect over shared challenges and celebrate milestones together.
- Join Online Forums and Apps: Join online parenting forums or download apps designed for moms. These platforms allow you to connect with moms in your region or with similar interests. There are many forums or support groups where you can connect with other mums virtually. You can share your experiences, ask questions, and even arrange meetups in person.
- Playdates: Organize playdates for your child. While the kids play, you can strike up conversations with other moms. Parks, libraries, or indoor play centers are great venues for this.
- Join Social Media Groups: Find and join local parenting or mom groups on social media. Facebook and Meetup often have active mom communities.
- Be Open and Approachable: When you’re at the park or a store, strike up friendly conversations
Remember that making new mom friends takes time, so be patient and open to different personalities and backgrounds. Building a supportive network can be immensely rewarding as you navigate the journey of motherhood together.
Reconnecting with old friends
Reconnecting with old friends who are yet to give birth can be a meaningful and supportive gesture. Firstly, reach out with a heartfelt message or call, expressing your desire to reconnect and catch up. Be empathetic, understanding that their priorities may have shifted. Suggest low-pressure activities, like coffee dates or virtual hangouts, allowing for flexible scheduling. Show genuine interest in their lives, asking about their experiences and feelings regarding impending motherhood. Offer your support, whether it’s lending an empathetic ear, attending prenatal classes together, or helping with baby preparations. Your effort to reconnect will strengthen your friendship and provide valuable emotional support during this transformative time. Remember that building new relationships and reconnecting with old friends takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and others, and don’t be afraid to take the first step to initiate plans or conversations. Keep in mind that friendships evolve and change over time, but with effort and understanding, you can maintain and strengthen those connections.
Additionally, don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. As a new mom, it’s important to prioritize self-care and make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help you feel more balanced and content, which in turn can positively impact your relationships with old friends and new acquaintances. I really hope this advice has helped you out.