Once a Cheater, Always a … ?
If you met someone today who you knew had a history of cheating in the past, how confident would you be taking him into your future?
Conversations about cheating are a hot topic this week after Beyoncé recently released her album ‘Lemonade’ which in turn has provoked imaginations to run wild with speculation surrounding her husband Jay Z’s alleged infidelity and whether ‘becky with the good hair’ is real or fictional. Perhaps we will never know the truth, but I can tell you with absolute certainty, whilst I am a becky with reasonably good hair (at times)…it’s wasn’t me 😉 (Like you really had any doubt).
In 2016 when we talk about the term ‘Cheating’ it is far more complicated then back in the day when it typically meant a roll in the hay. Our definition of cheating has changed because our way of life has changed, and there are far more ways in which men and women can ‘cheat’. For some, the ‘cheating’ line is drawn the moment a partner is attracted to someone else. Their thought, their desire, a smile, a conversation with someone else is considered emotional cheating and the damage has already been done. For others it might be an intention to cheat in texts, phone calls or chatting online and for the rest, the line is crossed when something physical occurs.
Whatever a persons definition might be, we know men and women do cheat, so are we just setting ourselves up for heartache in the future by dating someone with a history of cheating or can a leopard sometimes change its spots? Surely it’s fair to ask yourself, if he has done it before, will he do it again?
Over the years I have heard and read about famous sports people and celebrities who cheat on their partners and whilst some stay together and some don’t, it seems to rarely affect their popularity and in some cases even increases it. It’s almost like there is some underlying competition to want to be ‘the one’ they choose not to cheat on. I mean, I have heard of some women that are attracted to bad boys, and women who like a man that needs a little fixing, but surely if our resume is a reflection of one’s past working history and gives insight for our future potential, doesn’t ones past cheating history give us a pretty clear picture about what heartache might lie ahead?
But…Isn’t life all about ‘forgive and forget’? Perhaps there are sets of circumstances where you think that cheating is excusable. For example does the age you were when you cheated on someone matter? Can we blame immaturity for our foolishness? In other words are we allowed a period of time in our lives to make bad decisions and move on without having to hang our heads in shame forever and be voted off the ‘decent people’ island?
As the years go on we are sure to see technology provide even more ways to make cheating easier, lets just hope that common sense prevails and for those that have cheated, we can only hope whether they were caught or not, they acknowledge their cheating mistake and for the sake of many hearts don’t continue to make them again in the future.